An honest review of Mont-Saint-Michel (by Jess)

Yesterday we went to Mont-St.-Michel, a really cool site that Bill and I successfully visited back in 2009.

Here's my advice to anyone considering this particular destination: Under no circumstances should you go there in the summer. Possibly not even in May or September. Not unless you plan to show up at 6 am (as a local recommended we do if we ever gird ourselves for this ordeal again).

Yes, it's beautiful. But oh my gracious me the crowds were HORRENDOUS. Worse than anything I've ever experienced.

Here's what happens: You arrive, and you're ushered into a parking lot, which doesn't look too terribly full, so you're moderately optimistic. Of course, what you don't know is just how many parking lots there are, all somewhat screened from each other by trees and shrubs. You learn that there are free shuttles. Great! And off you go.

At this point you realize that you would like to find a bathroom, but surely you'll come across one soon.

You see the lines for the shuttles. They are...intimidating. OK, you think, we'll walk; lots of people are walking. And it's true that it's walkable--maybe two miles? Yes, it's hot, but there's shade at first, and then when there isn't shade (for the second 2/3 of the trek), there's sort of a breeze, and anyway, you'll take the shuttle back, right?

When you finally reach the site about 40 minutes later, there are a lot of people, but they seem to be moving at a fairly brisk pace. So you move towards the mandatory entranceway, off to the left.

No sign of a bathroom yet, but surely once you get in?

The crowd is pretty thick when you go through the gates, but you figure that, after the steep climb up  the first few levels, it'll thin out. Then you turn a corner. And there is a...mob. A stationary mob stretching up a flight of stairs, around a corner, and out of sight.

But surely this will dissipate! There must be some obstruction. Because, with the crowd coming up behind you, you literally have no choice, you join the dense press of bodies (in the hot sun) and wait.

Slowly, slowly, the crowd climbs the stairs. You turn a corner. The crowd...continues. 

The view is fairly nice, and you can see what look like open-ish streets below you, so you still have hope. But in fact, this is absolute misery. It's very hot. The wind is intermittent at best. There is virtually no shade. Sweat is pouring off of everyone, and no one can advance more than a few inches at a time.

This goes on for, oh, seventy or eighty hours. Then finally you see a narrow doorway up ahead. This is what's caused the obstruction!

--Mostly, yes. You can walk at almost a semi-normal pace after you get through the door. But the crowds remain simply terrible, and it's impossible to enjoy the little winding medieval streets because you're always about to trip over someone and about to be tripped over by someone behind you.

So after a few failed efforts to get away from the crowds, you heed the sage advice of your perfectly miserable ten-year-old and cut your losses.

You start back, eventually finding the end of the line for the return shuttle. I say "eventually" because it is a very, very long walk to the end of the line, which is easily 200 people long--maybe more--I don't know how to estimate these things. There are, oh, two shuttles circling around? You realize that you could end up waiting two hours, in the sun, before getting on a shuttle...so back you walk.

Oh, and that bathroom you looked for? Well, it's been 4 hours now, and you never found it. Your body has gone into some kind of new state, never before achieved, in which bathrooms are basically unnecessary, perhaps because all of the fluids have been dried out of you by the burning, burning sun.

Farewell, Mont-Saint-Michel! Don't let the portcullis hit you on the way out.

--In better news, we really like where we're staying--the seaside town of Saint-Malo--and today we had a great, relaxed beach day. More about Saint-Malo soon!